I don’t normally watch Mock the Week… I have a low telly threshold, and it seems just another one of a million diminishing returns set of channel fillers, like a live comedy writers’ brainstorming panel, where some of the gags stick and some should have been left to expire.

It makes me wonder about locking them all in a room somewhere, getting a comedy distillery going, or even better extend the format to make it like Big Brother-X-Factor-Mock-the-Week meets Obama’s mythical death panels. ALL the comedians of Britain are involved, and the ones who tell a duff gag are killed by Jerry Sadowitz? ‘Laugh or the Stand-up Gets It’?

I know I’d tune in! However, last night a rich seam of invective was discovered, as the panellists set about porky Cambridge graduate and neo-Nazi Nick Griffin. I’ve written about darlin Nicky before, in the what I hope was unequivocal post ‘Off our streets, Nazi scum’… so I was kind of loath to tag him again, given that Heston Blumenthal is already looming large in the clouds to our right, and I don’t want any nascent readership getting the idea I’m a stereomaniac (or whatever the correct word for someone with a twin obsession is).

But he IS a risible, if compelling character, as fascists often are, and they had a good go at him, which makes me happy. So much for the ‘debate’ about not having him on Question Time. Get him all over telly! Get him on Have I Got News For You? Ten minutes with Paul Merton would destroy him.

ANYWAY, Mock the Nick. I laughed for ten whole minutes at Frankie Boyle’s comment:

“He looks like a plucked owl that’s been fast-tracked for management at Greggs.”

Every word beautifully weighted. More choice quotes and a video from James Manning’s suspicious blog. Some people just get up earlier than me.

Well, this was great fun.

Yesterday, the Metro ran a text-in poll…

…let’s just skip over the fact that that the Metro is not only a terrible (news-) free tabloid but also made by Northcliffe Press, friends of the right since the infamous “Hurrah for the Blackshirts!” headline of 1934…

which looked like this:

disgrace

The question, “Does the BNP’s Euro election success signal a move to the…”, typo which it must have been, looks as though the Metro was inadvertently inviting the reader to fill in the gap.

Presumably the word was ‘right’, as in wing, as in political sentiment, but perhaps the implication that ‘right’ might somehow mean ‘correct’ or ‘seemly’ was too much, even for a sub-ed at the Metro.

What else might they have meant?

“Does the BNP’s Euro election success signal a move to the…

…grim future of a country run by neo Nazis?”

…acceptance of the sorry world view of genetic nostalgists?”

… happy dawn of yids, coons, gyppoes & faggots in stripey pyjamas?”

… fantasy world of a group of delusional idiots led by a Cambridge graduate longing for their fag, their teddy and a forever green homeland uncomplicated by the consequences of Empire?”

Maybe they were hoping for something more pithy… like:

“Does the BNP’s Euro election success signal a move to the…

…doldrums?”

… 1930s?”

… SHITHOUSE?”

Perhaps we’ll never know.