Having an operation has had a much more significant impact on my energy levels than I thought. Aside from being told to avoid heavy lifting/exertion, I’ve found that simply walking about has me knackered by mid-afternoon. On top of this, I cannot bend further forward than about 45% without getting dizzy and feeling like my nose is inflating to the size of, say, an avocado. Looking on the bright side, I can view this as a privileged preview of being old. Also, my comparator produce last week was a cantaloupe, so that’s an improvement as well.

The main impact has been on there being any sort of garden activity. I have been limited to standing at the window and looking out on its increasingly tempting verdancy, shaking my head ruefully. The veg plot has revealed new plants that need digging out quick smart, before April’s showers and milder temperatures has them getting all settled. They already look well ensconced. We now have sticky willy (aka cleavers or goosegrass, though I prefer sticky willy on the grounds that the plant is both sticky, and a bit of a dick); dock, which suggests there are probably nettles somewhere close by; and tons of grass tussocks, which would be much more welcome if they could be bothered growing on the balding bits on the actual lawn at the back. There are also at least six more bramble crowns, probably a good deal extra lurking under the catmint sprouting throughout.

This weekend, I finally took some mulch action, using an old bit of tarpaulin and some bits of pallet to carry out a temporary fix.
It's a tarp, etc

Fully accepting that this was likely to be as effective as just asking the weeds to stop growing, I threw up a hand and stalked off to mow the lawn. I could at least lean on the mower handles, and it’s on wheels. Another way of preparing myself for advanced senility, I mused, wheezing for comic effect as I trundled up and down over the dandelions, plantains and – I realised too late in one corner, another senior moment – some yet-to-flower bluebells. “Bluebells are… bugger it!”

crap billiard table

Some light lawn satisfaction from that, then, but mainly increasing thwartation. Roll on a completed convalescence, and a Prince-ish snowy snap.