Press play and read on.

My day yesterday was crap.

I mean, actually. First thing in the morning, baby has a poopy diaper. Of course, I don’t mind changing my little darling’s nappies throughout. Part of the job, innit?

But then it got to half four and there I was, hosing adult human faeces from the rear wheel of the pram. Not the little one’s, not mine, not no one’s I know, no.

[stunned shrug]

Like, actually, what is this shit? I suppose it’s true what they say, one man’s ginnel is another’s FUCKING TOILET. I know everywhere has some variant on Dog Poo Alley, or Little Shitaly as we term it… but people of Acomb, I expect more from you, I really do.

So, that was me. Ready. With a pressure hose, and a value pack of Huggies, yesterday. YesTURDay. Harrumph!

[FX: Flush]